Your Ghost

I remember sitting in my bedroom,

Nineteen years old 

You paced the floors as you stared at your phone. 

Your sister told you I was bad news. 

Somehow, I always wonder how she knew. 

I remember laying on your mattress 

in your bedroom floor 

I held you as you cried over her. 

Our new beginning rose, a Phoenix from the ashes 

from the former vows you burned. 

I remember riding in my car

down your lonely hometown streets 

I slammed my hands on the dash and I screamed 

that I hated you. 

I remember the expression on your face 

When you knew you’d been caught 

And how you pushed me down to the floor then sat on the other side of the bathroom door I’d locked 

And we both cried. 

Every day since you’ve left has been a weight on my heart  

And the memories I see through my rose colored sorrow 

When you come to me in my sleep, I swear I feel your touch 

And it breaks my fucking heart cuz all I ever wanted was love. 

The day they put you in the ground, I thought you released me from your chains, 

I said I’d never have to fear that you will tear me apart again. 

I visit you in daytime, you visit me in dreams,

I bring you flowers, you bring me to my knees

And I can’t escape your clutch  

So I just embrace your ghost. 

—

to JJC