Bittersweet Carols

Winter's come, it's almost over
I can't believe you're not here.
I miss your eyes, how they sparkled.
It still doesn't feel real.
I've lost track of the months now,
where did you go?

As I stare out this window,
I can still hear your laugh.
Your reflection stands strong
but you're not coming back.
And this tree sure is pretty
but it don't mean a thing.

'Cuz the lights, yeah they're bright,
but they don't compare to you
because you shined even brighter
than sun and the moon.
And I hope that it's nice
wherever you may be.

I hear bells, I hear carols
but I don't hear a thing.
As they sing, I just wonder
what you might be doing.
The one thing I want, I wont find
under my Christmas tree.

All the lights, yeah they're bright,
but they don't compare to you
because you shined even brighter
than the sun and the moon.
And I hope that it's nice
wherever you may be.

And I hope that you're happy,
and that you're not alone
on this cold Christmas night
spent away from home.
I hope that it's nice
wherever you may be...

Merry Christmas, love me.

Merry Christmas, baby.
Merry Christmas, baby.
Merry Christmas, baby.
Merry Christmas, baby.

This silent night is screaming at me.
I've never felt so bittersweet.
I miss you more than words can say.
You're all I wanted for Christmas Day.

Favorites

This is completely for me (then again, I guess this whole blog kind of is.) These are my top favorite lyrics/poems/songs I've written.

1.) Feel
2.) Never Alone
3.) Blank Faces
4.) Secret Keeper
5.) Wooden Castle (Unfinished)
6.) Losing Me
7.) Stay Edited
8.) Heartache Interstate
9.) Fine Without You
10.) Playing With Fire
11.) Dance Through Time
12.)My Not Quite Love Song
13.) Rough Draft of Passing Through

My Not Quite Love Song

I wouldn't call this a love song,
cuz I'm not yet sure what it is.
But there's something about you
that I can't help but notice.

It's the way that your eyes shine
and your smile crosses your face
when you tell me a stupid joke,
and I laugh, anyway.

And you're not mine, but you're the closest I've found
to happiness, guess I'll keep you around.
There's a million other people in this world,
but I don't want to be anyone else's girl.

I wouldn't say that we're perfect
cuz nobody makes me angry like you.
But, baby, when it's all said and done,
you're still the arms that I want to run into.

And I'll hold on, no I won't let go,
they can say what they want, but baby, you know
There's a million other people in this world,
but I don't want to be anyone else's girl.

And when you're gone, I miss you
messing up my pillows, stealing all the blankets.
When I'm with you, baby,
I don't feel sad anymore....

I don't feel sad anymore.

And you're not mine, but you're the closest I've found
to happiness, guess I'll keep you around.
And when you're with me, I feel free,
we can take on the world, baby, you and me.
And I'll hold on, no I won't let go,
they can say what they want, but baby, you know
that there's a million other people in this world,
but I don't want to be anyone else's girl.

I won't call this a love song,
cuz I'm not yet sure what it is.
I won't call this a love song,
but it's the closest that I've written.

Rough Draft of Passing Through

Pictures and postcards pinned on the wall,
asking, "How am I doing today?"
Faces peer through my dirty window,
whispering how I have changed.

I'm not looking for somebody to help me through.

I'm not lost, I don't need you to find me,
I don't need a savior in you.
I'm just walking until I find my own way,
I guess I'm just passing through.

They peer through rose colored glasses,
but the past isn't always like it seems.
That was a mask, a trick, a fabrication,
just a ghost of who I used to be.

I'm not asking for anybody to bring me home.

I'm not lost, I don't need you to find me,
I don't need a savior in you.
I'm just walking until I find my own way,
I guess I'm just passing through.

You live your life, let me live mine,
I'll make mistakes, I'll change my mind
but it's mine to change, I'll be okay,
Okay, I promise I'll be okay.

I'm not lost, I don't need you to find me,
I don't need a savior in you.
I'm just walking until I find my own way,
I guess I'm just passing through.

I'm passing through.

Losing Me

They say good things come to those who wait,
well I can't wait forever.
You know, I'm not a patient person,
and though I thought that you were worth it,
I'm starting to think I'm changing my mind.

And one day you'll knock on my front door,
but it won't be like before,
'cuz I won't let you in anymore.
Just one day too late, maybe
you'll look and finally see
you've been losing me, now I'm gone.

I stood back and let you make up your mind,
now it's finally my turn.
You know we could have been perfect,
but I guess I wasn't worth
finally letting somebody inside.

But one day you'll knock on my front door,
but it won't be like before,
'cuz I won't let you in anymore.
Just one day too late, maybe
you'll look and finally see
you've been losing me, now I'm gone.

I want more to believe in,
more than just words,
I want more of a feeling
than fear of being hurt.
I wanted everything, and
I got everything but you.

One day you'll knock on my front door,
but it won't be like before,
'cuz I won't let you in anymore.
Just one day too late, maybe
you'll look and finally see
you've been losing me all along.
Now, I'm gone.

They say good things come to those who wait,
well I can't wait forever.

Dance Through Time

Oh, how I've waited for this
to see that smile on your lips.
The way your eyes shine so bright,
we don't need the moonlight.

I've wished on ten thousand stars
to be right here where we are
So close, I feel your heartbeat,
could this all be a dream?

But I look into your stare and
the future's waiting there and
I know you are mine.

And now you're in my arms,
and I won't let you go.
Yeah, here and tonight,
I know I'm in love.

Oh, how I've waited for this
to feel your soft, gentle kiss,
You put your hands in mine and
we slowly dance through time.

I love the way you make me laugh,
that wrinkle when you get mad,
your eyelashes when you're sleeping,
and when you tell me your dreams.

When I look into your stare and
the future's waiting there then
I know you are mine.

And now you're in my arms,
and I won't let you go.
Yeah, here and tonight,
I know I'm in love.

Oh, how I've waited for this,
to finally make that promise.
This room is filled but I don't
see anybody but us.

I'll give it my everything
and you've given your last name
and a vow that we will
make it through anything.

I look into your stare and
the future's waiting there,
and I know you are mine.

And now you're in my arms,
I'll never let you go.
Right here and tonight,
they know we're in love.

Oh how I've waited for this,
to start our very own dance,
Come, Baby, let's proced,
let's start eternity.

Fine Without You

Well, I'm going to walk away from this.
No, I'm not gonna give you my best.
My heart is bruised but it isn't broken.
My eyes are dull, but finally, they're open.

It's so amazing, how far we've come,
so young and carefree, now freely I run.

And I'll keep moving forward,
reaching, starting over,
I'll be fine without you.
And I'll pick up the pieces,
I'll chase off all my demons,
I'll be fine without you.

You always have a way with words.
And I seem to have a way of getting hurt.
I never thought it'd come to goodbye,
but I never thought you'd make me cry.

It's so amazing, how I thought you were the one
back when we were carefree, now freely I run.

And I'll keep moving forward,
reaching, starting over,
I'll be fine without you.
And I'll pick up the pieces,
I'll chase off all my demons,
I'll be fine without you.

I'm tired of scraping my knees to bend for you,
I worshipped all you promised me cuz I couldn't see
that they were just lies, but now I realize that
and you can't hold me down anymore.

And I'll get to my feet
cuz I finally believe that
I'll be fine without you.
And I will chase my dreams
and I hope that you will see that
I'll be fine without you.

My heart is bruised but it isn't broken.
My eyes are dull, but finally, they're open.

Heartache Interstate

Somewhere along
these yellow lines
I’ve lost my way
I’ve lost my mind.

Don’t even know
where this road leads
but I know, I know
it’s not where I should be.

I would turn around,
head back to my hometown
but you’d still be gone.
Why’d you have to go?

So I keep driving on,
hoping to find myself along the way.
I’ll be searching, I’ll be searching.

I’ve come so far
and never dreamed
you wouldn’t be right here,
right here by me.

And now the dawn
sets the eerie stage
and I know there’s no going back
but I’d give anything.

But I keep driving on,
hoping to find myself along the way.
I’ll be searching, I’ll be searching.

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Wheels, don’t fail me now.
Lord, don’t let this road run out.
Wheels, don’t fail me now.
Lord, don’t let this road run out.

And I keep driving on,
hoping to find myself along the way.
I’ll be searching, I’ll be searching.

For the missing piece of you.

You Were

*This is an old one from December of 2010. Somehow, it got stuck in drafting.

-

I made a vow about seven years ago
that through thick or thin, I'd be here to stay
so don't expect me to just stand here
and watch you walk away
when we still have so much left to say.

Everything; I've given all I have and then
to try to make you understand
that I gave my all to see that ring on your hand.
I'll admit I made mistakes, but I would never stray.
I wish that you could say the same.

You were the only one I loved,
You were the only one I touched,
You were the only one I thought I'd spend forever with.
You were the only one I wanted

to wake up to in the morning.
You were my everything

Playing With Fire

So, a friend of mine has been going through a strange situation lately, and asked me to write a song for her. This is what I've got, so far.

Playing With Fire
I close my eyes for a minute just to try and take it back
and I'm not ashamed to admit that you're the best that I've ever had.
Sitting here with you tonight makes me feel like I'm someone else
but I know in the morning light I'm going to have to face myself.


If I said, "Stop, I don't want to do this anymore!" then I'd be a liar.
But I know there's only so long before you get burned when you're playing with fire.


And everytime you strike the match, I lose a piece of me that I'll never get back.
And even though you're here tonight, I know deep down you'll never be mine but
But I can't help but wonder, is this really just games or something more?
Do you ever think of me when you're lying there with her?


I close my eyes for a minute and I try to take a breath
I know I should regret but, honestly, I'm too far for that.
Your words and eyes are scorching, your lips and hands are gasoline  
You hold me in your arms and my world erupts into flames.


If I said, "Stop, I don't want to do this anymore!" then I'd be a liar.
But I know there's only so long before you get burned when you're playing with fire.


And everytime you strike the match, I lose a piece of me that I'll never get back.
And even though you're here tonight, I know deep down you'll never be mine but
But I can't help but wonder, is this really just games or something more?
Do you ever think of me when you're lying there with her?


If I said, "Stop, I don't want to do this anymore," then I'd be a liar.
But I know there's only so long before you get burned when you're playing with fire.
You tied me up and dowsed my heart with kerosene.
I'm burning higher and higher, and it feels so bittersweet.


And everytime we strike that match, I lose a piece of me that I'll never get back.
And even though you're here tonight, I know deep down you'll never be mine but
But I can't help but wonder, is this just a game or something more?
Do you ever think of me when you're lying there with her?


I close my eyes for a minute just to try and take it back.
I know I should regret but, honestly, I'm too far for that.