A Dinner Date With Accountability

I wasn't sure what to think when I read your message

I wasn't sure what to think when I walked through the door.

I want you to know I spent a long time on the outfit,

and the hair and the shoes and the makeup

to try and fake up

some kind of courage.

You’re already sitting at the table.

As I approach, you look me in the eye.

I can feel my gaze slipping,

I can see my hand trembling

when I pull my chair aside and say hi.

You say,
“I guess it’s nice to finally put a face to the heartache.”

This is where reality breaks down

And I gotta face the fall out

Misery’s on the menu tonight.

I take my seat and brace myself for the questions.
You shake your head and stare me down,
and I look away.

You ask,

“Did you ever think of me?”

I finally look back and say,

“Every single day”.

This is where reality breaks down

And I gotta face the fall out 

Misery’s on the menu tonight.

When you look into the face of a stranger whose heart you broke
it’s hard to know the words to say 

cuz there’s no words to say 

that would make it okay

and I don’t know how to handle that,

so I, I just look down at my lap

as you, you stare right back. 

Now the candles burned low,
food is cold, empty drinks,

waved the waiter away, and I’m spilling the secrets.

Answering every question, there’s no more lies,
and with every detail, the pain in your eyes

only grows, and I know, I could quit while ahead
but it almost feels nice to hear the truth being said. 

And when the story is over, it’s finally done,
we both sit in silence, cuz we got what we came for. 

Misery’s on the menu tonight.

And as we stand to leave, you say

“I hope you never forget my face.”

Nights of July

It's been a long time

since I’ve written about somebody new 

and I never dreamed 

I’d ever write a song about me and you. 

I call you by title, sometimes I

I call you my friend. 

And every once in awhile, 

I call you my secret. 

On those nights when you’re sneaking over 

when i'm not sober.

I call you up, invite you in,

now here you are inside my bed,

again. 

It’s been a long time

since I’ve let myself get carried away

and I just laugh when you ask

if it’s you, or the thrill of the game.

It’s a little of both, if I’m honest; 

It's the fire within your touch,

and the careful way that we dance 

to keep from getting caught

on those nights when you’re sneaking over

and I’m not sober.

I call you up, invite you in,

Now here you are inside my bed,

again.

It's only for the moment.

But that's just fine.

If I'm going to waste my time,

I can't think of a better way than

Those nights when you're sneaking over 

and I'm not sober.

I call you up, invite you in,

and here you are inside my bed.    

Legacy

 

Sometimes I feel

like I’ve dived head first right in

into my pit of bad decisions, 

all of my unhappy endings standing by,

waiting single file in line 

to take a swing at my composure. 

Guess karma always gets her closure. 

But if I can leave the world a bit better than I have been,

then at least I’ll know that it was all worth it in the end.

 

I’m not trying to leave a legacy of gold plated streets, 

I just want to be the best of me in your memory 

when I leave this world behind. 

I want to be who you thought I was 

all this time.

Can we forget?

Can we wash away our sins?

I’m not religious in the slightest 

but wouldn’t it be nice if I could 

say, "I’m sorry", and it's all let go; 

open my eyes and I get to start all over. 

I can’t take back the things that I’ve done

but I want to be someone you’re proud of. 

I’m not trying to leave a legacy of gold plated streets 

I just want to be the best of me in your memory 

when I leave this world behind.

I want to be who you thought I was 

all this time.

Just want to be who you thought I was all this time. 

FWB

FWB

I could see disaster from miles away

But I still told myself we’d be the different story

I take a look around

I see you, you’re staring at the ground

Somehow, I thought that we’d be okay

And I know that’s foolish but I can’t believe 

there’s two whole years gone down the drain.

But I just watched it wash away.

But that’s okay,

I’ve learned the hard way

Guess you can’t get over being ex lovers by night

And still be friends by day.

We’re at the scene of the crime 

I won’t tell your secrets, and you’ll keep mine

But you can’t make eye contact.

I thought I’d be worth at least a quick glance back.

But that’s okay

I’ve learned the hard way

Guess you can’t get over being ex lovers by night

And still be friends by day.

But that’s okay

I guess I’ve always learned the hard way

And you can’t get over being lovers at night

And being just friends by day. 

Untitled 06/02/2020

I’m sitting here 

Clock strikes 3 & all I wonder

Is how could it be 

That the best laid plans went thundering down. 

I never meant for it to go this far 

I meant what I said when I showed you my heart 

in the passenger seat of your new car 

on that humid night in March. 

You came into my life like a firework, I never saw you coming 

And you’re burning out of my life like a firework, 

watch you light up my sky til the smoke fades.

untitled 05/31/20

 Sometimes the silence is all I can muster

& sometimes I can’t seem to shut my mouth. 

Sometimes I fall to pieces 

& sometimes I just ?????

I guess my downfall is never knowing when to say enough is enough 

But sometimes I let myself feel hope  

And sometimes I feel like falling in love 

And maybe someday I will learn when to let it go.